A Hiccup In The Road

I am trying to be nice to myself and not slap myself silly over this weekend.

Saturday started great…I was all low carb and ready for it.  Then a friend and I met up for lunch and I lost all will.  I tried…I had ordered a vegetable Napolean which was nice, but too light, and gave in first to the fried calimari and then to the entire bread basket, and then a flourless chocolate torte.  5 hours of converstaion later, on the way home, I gave in to a binge and ate sushi for dinner, followed by several pastries. 

I reaped the expected water gain and hit 272 today, which, back on LC will be gone in a day or two.

More important than that up and down is…what am I doing and why?  I constantly do this.  Everytime I get to the mid 260s, I binge and lose the ground I gained.  And then I recommit and have to break the habits.  How many times do I have to do this until I get it????

Today my trainer and I were talking about that friend.  She trained with her briefly and is concerned for her health.  The friend is about 300lbs, apple shaped, I believe insulin resistant, work aholic, and never gets to the gym.  Recently, she was hospitalized for severe anemia.  My trainer asked if she has lost weight–she sees her weight as life-threatening.  No, not to my eye, she hasn’t.  We briefly talked about how many calories it takes to maintain her weight.  I said I guestimated 3000.  “Do you know how much food that is?”

Yeah, I do…from experience.  Binge days, that’s easy.

But to me, my head still sees <1700 as so little food.  Why can’t I overcome that?

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